Tuesday, June 29, 2010

We need a bigger van!!!!

At least 12 seats! If we are going to add more children to our family we have to be able to transport all of them!!!! and all though we can take 2 vehicles right now . That is not Ideal!!! So we need to do a fund raiser. any ideas. I would like to raise 7,000. That way we could buy a van out right and still have the smaller van ( that we are still paying off) for smaller trips where everyone doesn't need to go. So friends I'm ask for your help.......................

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Happy 1st birthday E!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Touch of Love...
(Author Unknown)

You were six months old and full of fun, with the blink of an eye, you were suddenly one.
There were so many things we were going to do, But I turned my head and you turned two.
At two, you were dependent on me, But independence tookover when you turned three.
Your third birthday: another year I tried to ignore, But when I lit the candles, thre weren't three, but four.
Four was the year that you strived. Why, look at you now, you're already five.
Now you are ready for books and for rules. This year you go to school.
The big day came, you were anxious to go. We walked to the bus going oh, so slow.
As you climbed aboard and waved good-bye, I felt a lump in my throat and tears stung my eyes.
Time goes so fast it's hard to believe That just yesterday you were home with me.
And tomorrow when the bus brings you home and you jump to the ground You'll be wearing your cap and graduation gown.
So I'm holding to these moments as hard as I can, Because the next time I look, I'll be seeing a man/woman.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Welcome to Holland.... PART 1


When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

But... if you spend your life Dwelling on Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

(poem edited for this post)


Monday, June 14, 2010

Still Speaking

So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be put to shame."
Isaiah 28:16
"For this battle is the Lord's, and He will give them into your hands."
1 Samuel 17:47
"God sets the lonely in families..."
Psalm 68:6
"Not ONE of God's good promises failed, every one was fulfilled."
Joshua 21:45
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still."
Exodus 14:14

Ok Lord I need A bigger Van!!!!!!!

Jesus speaks to my heart!!!

"My dear children, I am with you. I watch closely as you struggle for holiness. Often, you are uncertain of your spiritual condition. You strive to serve but feel conflicted by the times in which you are serving. There are some things that all humanity deals with regardless of where in history they are placed. First, there will always be a difference between the world’s path and heaven’s path. These two paths, while they can run along side each other for increments, will always separate. Ultimately, each man will have to choose. Every man, to a greater or lesser degree, will have to contend with choosing first good over evil and then he will have to make another choice and that is the choice of choosing My plan for his life over his own plan for his life. After that, the choices become even more studied in that the man must choose My plan in each day, in each task and even in each moment. You may say, dear apostle, that this is a difficult call for a man, to study his actions in each day. You may say, this is asking a lot. You are right. I, Jesus, am asking a lot of you. I ask for your full commitment and I do so without apology. Dearest apostles, if you give me your full commitment, there is no limit to what I can do. Look at your life. You have said yes to me on many days. Examine what I have done with your yes answers. Consider what I am building with the commitments of so many children of God who are willing to be directed by the Saviour, their King. I am building a structure of love. I am building a structure through which many are returning. Truly, your hearts, open and filled with My love, call out to others. You provide for Me a welcome to those who feel separated. If they can be taken into your heart for even a brief moment and experience Me, with My love, then they will have the courage to both approach Me directly and to accept Me directly. Please, do not count the sacrifices when you consider your service. Do not count the loss of worldly respect. Count only the souls who are comforted and consoled. Count the repentance and healing of so many who have been restored to unity with heaven. Count the humility that I have bestowed on you, dear apostle, since you began to learn about true holiness. I am your King. I can give you anything. I choose to give you peace and holiness. I choose to make of you a resolute servant. Accept My will in your life and you will then be able to accept all of the graces heaven has stored up for you. "

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

It's about time fo an update...

So it's been a bit since I bloged ...;.I've been tired....and not alot has happened ... Except.... F Mri came back perfect! Yup, that right there is nothing of note... We were over the moon, till reality set in. We are no closer to knowing what is wrong with her head then we were at the start! This is the frustrating part. So back to Nero. we go, this time for an EEG. They want to see if it is Seziors (sp) I really don' t think it is as she can controll it. But we shall see. It is then on to the Nero- optomologist, and Audiologist......and hopefully we will know.
But for now I will enjoy my garden and the sun .... And look forward to tomorows Kindergarden graduation!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Breath just breath....

When dealing with an Adult child with FAS, OCD and RAD who happens to also be pregnant!!!!!!!! One must remember to just breath. I am always amazed at how much This child lives in her own world with rules made by her. for how the rest of the world is to treat her and how in her mind she has none of the diorders and we are all out to get her! So here is where the breathing comes in. I was shown yet again that even though I was trying to defend her crappy additude yesterday. So it sliped out to my mom that the comments made about said persons Bfriend hurt her fealing because they are on a break........ She called screaming about me spreading her buisness to the whole world! and how itf she wanted to say something she would..... the textmessages havent stopped for the past half hour!..... and I need to breath before I say som.......

To late she really pissed me off and I let her have it and yes that may not be very grown up
But thank God for tomorow!
Good Night

We choose the path that other fear to tread..

That about says it all! As foster parent we have CHOSEN to walk a path with children that others can not comprehend. I have been thinking alot about the kids that need us and have realized that I have been afraid of bringing older children in to my home! Trinity is 9 and the rest go down from there. and there has been this fear of messing with birth order and such. But I realize by bringing in the babies I have messed with Selahs birth order. as she is no longer the "baby" And Trinity is the last child to care about being the oldest!!!
So you may say why now are these thoughts and feelings comming up..... Well we took an 11 year old last summer for respit and they asked us to keep him. There had been some issues at the other foster home , but I didn't even give him a chance :( I have held him in my heart for the past year and really wish I could go back and change the decisions I made out of fear! I wish I could kneel down and say to him I"m sorry, I Made a bad choice and I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I made it harder for you to trust others . I wish I could have a chance to hug him ( one thing he really loved ) and Ask him for a second chance! I really wish I could call his worker and find out that he has already been adopted!!! and being given the unconditional Love that I should have given him!!!

So now that I am crying into my keyboard I will simply say that My eyes have been opened! That although these kids come with more issues then babies they didn't ask for them! All they are asking for is some one to love them inspite of those issues! to look past what others have done to them and love them for who they are and what they can become!