We choose the path that other fear to tread..

That about says it all! As foster parent we have CHOSEN to walk a path with children that others can not comprehend. I have been thinking alot about the kids that need us and have realized that I have been afraid of bringing older children in to my home! Trinity is 9 and the rest go down from there. and there has been this fear of messing with birth order and such. But I realize by bringing in the babies I have messed with Selahs birth order. as she is no longer the "baby" And Trinity is the last child to care about being the oldest!!!
So you may say why now are these thoughts and feelings comming up..... Well we took an 11 year old last summer for respit and they asked us to keep him. There had been some issues at the other foster home , but I didn't even give him a chance :( I have held him in my heart for the past year and really wish I could go back and change the decisions I made out of fear! I wish I could kneel down and say to him I"m sorry, I Made a bad choice and I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I made it harder for you to trust others . I wish I could have a chance to hug him ( one thing he really loved ) and Ask him for a second chance! I really wish I could call his worker and find out that he has already been adopted!!! and being given the unconditional Love that I should have given him!!!

So now that I am crying into my keyboard I will simply say that My eyes have been opened! That although these kids come with more issues then babies they didn't ask for them! All they are asking for is some one to love them inspite of those issues! to look past what others have done to them and love them for who they are and what they can become!